Artisanal Texts

Somewhere between running errands to go to my last day of shooting the movie and getting to Chickasaw, I lost my phone.  When I got back into Norman, I retraced my steps through several stores and asked about lost and founds to no luck.

I decided to use this opportunity to down grade my phone.  It's something I've wanted to do for a while.

On the hand, I think I did so far less cost efficiently than I could have because I wanted to take a path of relatively low resistance, staying with my carrier, etc, etc. On the other hand, even including this purchase (a Nokia 3011 reboot), I have spent less on phones my entire life than the cost of a single new iPhone.  You people really set the bar low.  I may or may not stress out about why I don't have a pay-as-you-go plan at some other point, but that is not the point of the story.

As all of my contacts were saved on my SIM card in my now-lost phone, I was glad that I had used the major memory system to memorize several numbers.  One of the numbers I had memorized belonged to the best man at my wedding, Nat.  After confirming I did in fact remember the correct number -- I would stake a fortune on the digits; it is the order that might have been wrong -- we had the conversation below.  Nat's texts will be italicized.  Mine will be block quoted.  I've added footnotes because they are fun.

This is a 60 dollar dumb phone. [1] 

The last decade can suck it

I love it.  Fuck the system. 

I try.  I mean this is hitting keys more than once and everything.  Real horror-show [2]

Yeah.  Only horrible when going back to it.

When it was the only game it town, it was fine.

Know that every word I text is slowly, lovingly handcrafted, like texts were . . .two gens ago. [3]

Meaningful texts seemed like an oxymoron until now

Have I stumbled upon artisanal texts?

Move to Brooklyn, buddy.  You're ready now. 


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[1] I didn't want to pull up the "$" symbol because that requires going through another menu.  Having to type out each letter extra slowly also forced me to seek extra terseness in my writing.

[2] I was hoping he had seen A Clockwork Orange and thus knew that lil' bit o' Nadsat slang.  At the slow . . . pace . . . I . . .was . . . going it sure seemed like a hilarious punchline.  It was no one's fault the joke didn't land, and I certainly wasn't going to text an explanation!

[3] My phone is on 3G.  I guess it will be a useless brick when 3G is phased out (or ends because of outside factors).